I have just watched the Logan Paul video. And it makes me sad because in the past I tried to kill myself. I am shocked at the behavior in the video where suicide is depicted in a trivial way. If you haven’t seen the video everyone is talking about. The popular YouTuber Logan Paul goes to Japan to a forest where it is known people kill themselves. In the forest he finds a dead body which he films for his vlog. Logan is very boisterous and chatty for the camera not appearing to understand the seriousness of the situation.
In the past I was in a very bad place. It was a dark time. Nothing was working in my life. And this carried on for a long time to the point where I could not tolerate with living with myself. I know there is a lot of people who feel suicidal for no reason. That was not my case like I said at that point in my life nothing was working. I was very depressed because of this and I had reached breaking point where I just could not tolerate my life anymore. So I got some pills, a lot of pills I didn’t try to hang myself. The truth is I could of hung myself aswel like that poor soul in the forest in Japan. I just couldn’t imagine the pain my family would have felt had I killed myself. And on top of that if someone filmed my dead body for YouTube and made light of suicide. It would have been incredibly painful for all my family and anyone else who’s lives would have been touched by suicide.
Back to my suicide attempt. It was a few years ago now that I tried to take my life. However the pills I took did not work. I ended up getting very sick that night. My mom had to take me to the doctor the next morning to get a check up. I think I did tell her that I had enough and was very depressed about the way things were going in my life. I wasn’t depressed for no reason it’s just everything in my life was not working. I don’t know if we told the doctor that I was feeling so awful or that I had tried to end my life. I think I just went for a checkup and then I returned home.
I was putting off writing this post because I was afraid what people might think or that they might jump to conclusions. I am private but I do like sharing things aswel because it’s like therapy but much cheaper. I have had some dark and hard times in the past that do make me think. I am okay now but it does upset me that a very successful YouTuber who seems very smart and shrewd would make such a terrible mistake? I feel like a boundary was crossed in that video that should have never been crossed. That video really violated that poor man’s privacy. We know nothing about that mans circumstances. Who he was? Did he have family? Was he suffering from a mental illness? Maybe nothing was working in his life either. I just think maybe I could of went to a forest and hung myself. What if someone filmed it? That would be so awful. It’s degrading and inhumane.
To talk about suicide is one thing but to go and find a body and film it makes a mockery of the whole situation. These are real people we are talking about with real feelings. I feel like this whole situation with Logan Paul has somehow dehumanised a very serious issue in our society. If you are thinking of suicide. It’s not the answer. Nothing good will come from your passing. People will be hurt who love you very much. And things do get better. I thought sharing this story might help some people. I have been through some really hard and difficult times in the past actually even recently. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you feel suicidal or have suicidal thoughts but you might need some help. You can contact Samaritans on 116 123 or go their website at https://www.samaritans.org/